Do people in your parish talk about Jesus? Do you talk about Jesus? I recently asked a group of Catholic leaders to tell me why they thought evangelization is important. They mentioned faith, the church, the gospel, and the paschal mystery, but no one said a word about Jesus.

I know, all of the things they mentioned are about Jesus, but that’s a little bit different than talking about Jesus as Jesus. Think of it this way. What if I asked you to tell me why marriage is important? And you told me about covenant, and love, and raising children. But you never mentioned your wife or your husband. How weird would that be?

Talk about Jesus

In her book, Forming Intentional Disciples: The Path to Knowing and Following Jesus, Sherry A. Weddell says this is common in Catholic circles. We tend not to talk about Jesus. She calls it a “Spiral of Silence.” What she means by that is that there are a lot of Catholics (maybe a third) who do not have a personal relationship with Jesus. Because they don’t have anything to say about Jesus, they influence the larger Catholic culture by their silence.

Check out this webinar recording: “Evangelization: First Priority of the RCIA.” Click here for more information.

We have to break the “Spiral of Silence.” Chris Walker, who runs the EvangelismCoach.org website, has some tips on how to do just that. He says we have to get intentional about having spiritual conversations. Here are his suggestions:

Pray

I forget to do this. I don’t forget to pray. I just forget to pray at the right time. Like when I’m at Starbucks, and I meet a stranger, or even when I’m just talking with a Catholic friend, I forget to ask for guidance and support. Which is crazy, right? If my goal is to introduce people to Jesus, shouldn’t step one be to offer a quick prayer  like, “Okay, Lord, I’m about to open my mouth here. Make whatever comes out of it helpful for getting you and this fellow caffeine addict connected”?

Surface talk

I’m great at this part. Talk about the weather, the temperature of the coffee, the playoffs, whatever. This level puts the “small” in small talk. Just say a small thing. But also make it a little bit personal. For example, “I’m probably in this Starbucks once a day. How about you? Are you as addicted as I am?”

Evangelist hint: Listen to the answer.

Personal talk

The next step is to find common ground. Walker suggests asking questions about the person’s birthplace, hometown family, education, work, vacations, retirement, interests, and hobbies. Things like this are still pretty “safe,” but they move the conversation to a more personal level.

Evangelist hint: Play verbal ping pong. You ask a question; your companion answers. Serve the conversation-ball back with a follow up question. Open ended questions require your partner to return the ball back. You then serve it back again with yet another question.

Religious talk

Here is where I stumble. I was raised to not talk about religion or politics in public. Gotta get over that. Most people believe in God and most of them want to talk about their belief. What they don’t want is to be told how to believe. So this is the take-a-risk, go-to-the-cross, die-to-ego, get-over-yourself step. Here is Walker’s example of a going deeper question: “On weekends we usually go hiking on Saturday, then we eat out in a restaurant after church. Do you attend church?”

Evangelist hint: Watch body language and other nonverbals. If your new friend is clearly not interested, don’t push. Just go back to talking about the kids or favorite vacation spots. No harm, no foul.

Spiritual talk

If, on the other hand, it seems like your partner wants to keep going, then take a next step. Invite him or her to church. Or mention one simple God moment you had recently. Or offer to pray for your friend. If you want to be really bold, offer to pray with your friend.

Evangelist hint: If you sense your friend withdrawing a bit, then back off. Head back to safer ground, and always keep the door open for future conversations.

For more on practical steps for evangelization, visit EvangelismCoach.org.

Check out this webinar recording: “Evangelization: First Priority of the RCIA.” Click here for more information.

How do you do it?

What tips do you have for breaking the “Spiral of Silence”? Please add your comments below.

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