In all my years in RCIA ministry, one of the easiest things to do was to match inquirers with sponsors — in my head. One of the hardest things to do was to get those perfect sponsors-in-my-head to become real, live, actual sponsors for someone.
I think other RCIA team members must have struggled with the same thing. I was at a parish once that was celebrating the Rite of Acceptance. The catechumens were assembled, along with their sponsors. But one sponsor was missing. The presider kept calling out his name, hoping he was somewhere in the assembly. It was like that homeroom scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as Ben Stein reads out roll call, repeating: “Bueller, Bueller, Bueller.”
Are right sponsors getting involved?
At another parish, at another Rite of Acceptance, I saw the sponsors being introduced to their inquirers. At the Rite of Acceptance! It made me wonder if parishioners had been asked to “help out” with the liturgy as they arrived for Mass in the same way we’d ask folks to bring up the gifts to the altar.
Another experience I know a lot of you have had—because you have told me—is the inquirer who shows up with a sponsor already attached. It’s like those all-in-one printers you can buy. It comes with everything, ready to go. Except, not. Sometimes the “sponsor” isn’t even Catholic. Or if, she’s Catholic, she’s not a parishioner—at least not a parishioner anyone has seen since founding pastor Fr. Finbar McGlitchy’s funeral. And sometimes it’s unclear who needs more formation—the sponsor or the sponsee.
Honestly, I’ve given up. I don’t look for sponsors anymore. I look for a person who is good at looking for sponsors. And yes, that’s hard. But it’s only hard once. I look for someone who knows lots and lots of parishioners, who is difficult to say no to, and who sees sponsor-inquirer matchmaking as fascinating puzzle to be solved.
How to “give up” looking for RCIA sponsors
This requires a bit of letting go on my part. Sometimes the sponsor-finder finds people I would never have chosen. However, part of the process of finding a sponsor-finder is being clear about what the RCIA team is looking for a in a sponsor. Once your potential sponsor-finder knows the job description and criteria for a sponsor, turn her loose and trust in the Holy Spirit.
Once I figured this out (and I’m slow; it took me a while), I witnessed amazing, blessed, grace-filled matches. The lives of the inquirers were enriched, and they had powerful conversion experiences on their journey of faith because of their relationships with their sponsors. And I also witnessed powerful conversion experiences in the lives of the sponsors. Many of them have told me they received much more than they gave in their sponsor roles.
If finding sponsors is hard for you, my advice is stop looking. Instead, look for someone who the Holy Spirit has gifted with that particular talent. And then find something else to do with all your new-found free time.
Share your story
Who has helped you find sponsors in your parish? How have you stayed away (or gotten away) from last-minute sponsor pairings? Tell us in the comments below!
I have found that young people’s faith groups such as CCO are good places to find sponsors, since the young people are excited about sharing their faith with unbelievers, and are over the moon to get to meet non-Catholics with whom they can share the beauty of our Catholic faith – throughout their formation in CCO, they are repeatedly told how important it is to evangelize non-Catholics, but most of the non-Catholics they meet in real life are hostile toward them, and make them feel like fanatical weirdos.
In RCIA, they get to meet non-Catholics who respect what they have to say, and are attentive to their young wisdom. Plus, they are very well formed, and you can trust them not to say anything heretical to the Inquirers.
Former RCIA Candidates also make good sponsors, and I regularly tap the CWL and the Knights of Columbus, as well.
Many, many times the sponsors chosen are limited to a small group of the same people, sponsoring year after year.
I’m getting into the habit of asking the sponsors I currently work with who might be good sponsors for people just entering our process. This helps me keep reaching into different corners of the parish and helps the sponsors recognize that they too have a role in calling the parish to full participation. Though not everyone will be a sponsor, it helps give people fresh eyes for the community they are part of. They start recognizing the ways the people they already know share and are good models of faith. When current sponsors also ask potential sponsors, it helps the potential people recognize that they are part of a wider community who notice and value them, whether or not they decide to be a sponsor. Also, having the sponsors ask other parishioner relies on relationships already built rather than me having to build a relationship and then invite people into something.
I pray for each candidate asking God first for insights of what this particular candidate needs. Then at Masses over the weekend I ask God to touch my heart with someone for a specific candidate or two. At communion time I look at every person who walks by me with – an open heart. I am amazed at how God touches my heart. I have had to sometimes go ask the priest or another staff member who they are.
We have always found success inviting former neophytes as a major source of potential sponsors. The reason being, they understand the commitment. Most parishioners are scared to death of offering 1-2 years of attending weekly sessions, retreats, rites etc.
When searching for team members, the criteria includes being a former sponsor. We always want team members who have fully experienced the process.